Deal Maker/ Deal Breaker Relationships

For People who are Happy, or not, in Relationship

The purpose for this reflection is to remind ourselves of what is working and what is not working in our relationship. It is not about the perfect relationship. It is about taking a reality check to see what we are doing to facilitate a good relationship and equally, what we are doing that unwittingly puts the brakes on a good relationship.

CORE VALUES:
These are the Values (what’s important to you) that must be satisfied within the relationship in order for it to move forward.  (If not met, it’s a deal breaker!)
Example … ‘My partner must have the same religious conviction as me.’

What is one of your Core Values?

PERIPHERAL VALUES:
These are the things that are preferable to have in the relationship.  They may be of significant value to you or of minimal value to you. However it is not necessary to have them, in order for the relationship to move forward
(be a dealmaker). 
Example … ‘I wish my partner would like to go out more’.

What is one or more of your Peripheral Values?

Is Your Glass Half Full or Half Empty?

Having worked with couples as a personal coach for over 20 years, I have found that more people exit a relationship (permanently) without doing any serious change work, than the number of people
who will take action with a professional. This could also be why we have more split-ups now than ever.
What do you think?

When I work with clients in the context of relationship, I first speak to each party of the relationship, and ask
if we may put the relationship aside and only work on that person.

After a moment of surprise the clients agree. From this vantage point we finish up with two people working (delicately) on their own behaviours. Guess what? It works!

Please take a moment to reflect on what Is working in your relationship, right now.

Take a moment to list these below …

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Note:  If you would like a free form for eliciting these Values with your partner,
please contact me and I will send it to you.

Ciao for now, Jeff