Success in Your Rebellious Sub Personalities
What is Success to You?
William Shakespeare is quoted saying ‘Physician heal thyself.’ If we wish to live a fulfilling life of inner peace, harmony and success, we may take this quote to mean, we need to heal ourselves on the levels of mind, body and spirit.
In the last Article we looked at how there are many different ‘parts’ of you, such as the Pusher, Pleaser, the Critic, Organised and the Spontaneous one; all being called Sub Personalities. We also had a quick look at how and why they may come into your life.
When you and I reinforce a behaviour such as the Pusher over a long period of time, it may become too intense and worse still it may dictate our life, to the point we are no longer at choice in this regard. This would be the case when for example someone who has an overly developed Pusher, cannot stop and just ‘be’.
This person is not comfortable with doing nothing; they have to be doing something all the time in order to feel ok. This Pusher within is known as the Primary Self as it is heavily relied upon to function in life. There is an over identification with the behaviour of being busy and needing to achieve outcomes. The Pusher doesn’t care what gets done, it just pushes mercilessly because that is the behaviour that has developed (as a response to the past) and has been reinforced over time.
To the degree you and I are over identified with any of these Primary Selves (we may have a number of them) we are not at choice to access our full range of behaviour. In this case the Pusher is not at liberty to relax, just hang out or do something meaningless. These are the qualities of the opposite of the Pusher which could be called the Chill Out part. This Chill Out part is also known as the Disowned Self, the part you reject if you have this Primary Self of Pusher.
If you are overly identified with either the Pusher or the Chill Out part you will be out of balance. The goal is to come back into balance. The Sub Personality at the forefront of our psyche determines our happiness and success. The purpose of doing Sub Personality work is to provide more choice in life. Once you have done the work of unhooking from the unwanted behaviour, you have access to a greater range of behaviour.
In this case, you would Push when needed and Chill when desired. To the degree you can Accept all dimensions of yourself – you will increase your happiness and success.
Tip: When you notice yourself criticising another person of their behaviour – that is a very strong sign you may be over identified with the opposite of that behaviour! Check it out.
Helpful Hint: In relationship, opposites often attract. For example, a high end Control person is likely to attract a very Subservient person. Why? Because both are out of balance and it’s Mother Nature’s way to put opposites together, in order to come back into balance.